D Day plus a few more days
Much beauty despite the dark cloud.
Diagnosis day, 5 December, 2109
The day before yesterday, 4 weeks after a routine screening mammogram, I learnt that I had invasive lobular carcinoma, grade 2. Translation : carcinoma = cancer, invasive = cancer cells have moved out of the lobules of the breast into the surrounding breast tissue. The grade is a measure of the speed of growth of the cells , from 1 to 3. One would have been a better diagnosis , but 2 is better than 3. Neither the clinical director of Breastscreen ACT nor the ultrasound operator could find any lymph involvement. This is not definitive, but hopeful. In the cancer world, this is an easily treatable cancer with an excellent prognosis. I am grateful it is not a GBM!
The first step is surgery. Because of the time of year, it will be difficult to get surgery in a timely fashion. My lovely GP is on the case.
I donot like saying "I have Breast Cancer', which of cause is a true statement, but to me it has too many negative connotations. So I am thinking of it as a Temporary Nuisance. I know surgery, radiation and chemo will not be easy, but I also know I am tough and fit and will be attending at least some of my grandchildren's weddings and crossing off many more interesting places on my bucket list.
I am extremely grateful for all my lovely friends who have emailed me and are interested in my well-being. I have realized, over the last few days, that it is very easy for me to get overwhelmed with the responsibility I feel to reply to people and to keep them informed. I hope that by putting information about my progress along the bumpy road here people will be able to read and be up-to-date without being concerned because they have not heard from me. Good wishes are greatly valued, but my response may be tardy or non-existent.
People say it often helps to keep a journal. Maybe this will be mine, maybe not. Time will tell. I certainly intend to try to take a photo each day of something that makes me smile.
6 December 2019
I have covered 3 spiritual traditions - the chakra colours of the title refer to the yogic tradition, Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddist, Julian of Norwich was a Christian mystic. The pen I used was a take-home gift (I hope) from the wonderful apartment I stayed in in Paris for 5 weeks earlier this year. This is to remind me of how lucky I am to have had that experience.
As of 7.30 pm, I have a surgery date of 2 January. To be confirmed on Monday morning.
7 December 2019
Self portrait at 6 am , on my way home from my morning walk. I have very fond childhood memories of reading a book called Daddy-Long-Legs and this reminded me of it. The sun had just risen behind me.
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